Thanks for Nothing, and Everything

Thanks for Nothing, and Everything

November 20, 2016

by Uncola:

During this season of Thanksgiving, I would like to express my overwhelming gratitude. Thank you, President Obama. Thank you for not upholding your oath to the U.S. Constitution to protect America’s southern border. Thank you for illegally granting amnesty via executive action and avoiding the unnecessary hassles of passing the legislation through Congress. And thank you for your efforts in turning the United States of America into a third-world refugee camp.

Thank you, Obama, for your broad support of Islam and for labeling American citizens as bitter, xenophobic racists clinging to their guns and religion. I would also like to express my gratitude to you, your enablers, and all of the sycophantically corrupt, establishment politicians for near doubling the national debt of the United States these last eight years.

Another heartfelt expression of gratitude goes out to all of the media pundits, talking heads, newspaper columnists, Silicon Valley moguls as well as the proprietors, purveyors and contributors of actual fake news websites who contort themselves daily to support leftist politicians and the progressive agenda. Without the blind commitment of those who have facilitated the Cloward-Piven strategy of sacrificing America to the global elite banking establishment, it would have been far more difficult for Obama to fundamentally transform our country over the last eight years.

Indeed, without the help of the punditocratic media commentariat, the Obama administration might have been held accountable for the Fast and Furious scandal, NSA overreach, the IRS scandal, veteran death panels and illicit prisoner trades with America’s sworn enemies; not to mention the blaming of Benghazi on a YouTube video. Thanks for sweeping all of that under the proverbial rug. You should be proud.

Also, thank you President Obama for quietly signing your Executive Order 13603 in March of 2012, which nationalizes: “All commodities and products that are capable of being ingested by either human beings or animals”, “all forms of energy”, “all forms of civil transportation”, “all usable water from all sources”, “health resources: drugs, biological products, medical devices, materials, facilities, health supplies, services and equipment” as well as the forced “induction” of civilians in the event of “military conflicts, natural or man-caused disasters, or acts of terrorism within the United States.” Thanks for looking out for us and we appreciate you’re providence and protection.

Thank you, as well, to all of the uninformed voters and apathetic citizens who have supported their favored government bureaucrats either by demand or default, respectively, as our healthcare system was nationalized. This wonderful legislation not only required citizens to purchase a product for the first time in history as mandated by government decree, but it also diminished our personal and private relations with our chosen physicians as it simultaneously increased the cost of insurance on working individuals and families.

Thank you to all of the Hollywood movie stars, producers, directors and writers who, in their fanatical hubris, were so willing to share with us fans, plebs and serfs their enlightened wisdom both before and after the election. Without the guidance of film and TV actors, movie business minions and other self-perceived west coast luminaries who vastly overestimate both their intelligence and their importance; America would be far less prosperous and free today.

Thanks to all of the elderly hippies, aging boomers, welfare moochers; unicorn chasers, transgendered bathroom rights crusaders, shrieking feminists, rainbow dancing socialists; Black Lives Matter advocates of only select black lives, Never Trumper’s and the Millennial snowflake generation. Thank you for swallowing hook, line and sinker everything you have ever learned from television programming and propagandized news as you riot in the streets over a losing candidate whose vagina you valued more than honesty.

Thanks to those of you as well within the U.S. Department of Education for dumbing down a majority of the American generations over the last several decades while vastly increasing your taxpayer funded budgets over the same time period.

And how about those George Soros sponsored, election protesters rioting in the streets of American cities because their candidate lost an election? According to the Craigslist ads, some of them were paid $1,500 a week and even received bus rides to the staged areas. Isn’t America truly the land of opportunity? I have never been so proud. And we all should be very obliged to President Obama for supporting these protesters when he said:

So, I would not advise people who feel strongly or who are concerned about some of the issues that have been raised during the course of the campaign, I wouldn’t advise them to be silent.

And we should also be extremely grateful to former presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, for encouraging the rioters with her own words of support as follows:

 For the sake of our children and our families and our country, I ask you to stay engaged on every level. We need you. America needs your energy, your ambition, your talent and that’s how we get through this. That’s how we make our contribution to bend the arc of the moral universe towards justice.

Thank you, Hillary, for helping the violent rioters to “get through” the next four years under Donald Trump until they can “bend the arc of the moral universe” back “towards justice”. You truly are an inspiration.

Thank you, mainstream media, for focusing so much more intently on Donald Trump’s unproven misogyny and phony Russian espionage in lieu of the treasonous obstruction of justice regarding Hillary Clinton’s State Department e-mails on her personal server and Anthony Wiener’s laptop. Thank you for not reporting on the mysterious financial shenanigans of the Clinton Foundation and thank you for daily crucifying James Comey and Julian Assange for revealing the facts that you super sleuths and modern day Edward R. Murrow’s refused to report. We the people definitely owe all of you a gigantic debt of gratitude for abnegating your solemn responsibilities as keepers of the Fourth Estate. You have served your globalist masters well. Thank you.

Furthermore, a great big “thank you” goes out to Google and various social media companies for their attempts to influence the U.S. presidential elections on behalf of Hillary Clinton and for recently announcing their plans to punish the internet websites they deem as propagators of “fake news”. Whew. We are all breathing a sigh of relief as you remove your adware from these dangerous sources of information all throughout the blogosphere. Thank you.

And, thank you, Deep State, for spying on citizens from all over the world while failing to prevent terrorism both at home and abroad. In spite of your failures to prevent Islamic massacres in places like Fort Hood, San Bernardino, Orlando, Paris, Nice and London; we feel very secure knowing your 1.5 billion-dollar, one million square-foot Utah Data Center and your recently revealed spy hub in New York City watches over us even as we sleep. I am very confident you will one day have the resources and technical savvy to hack an iPhone. You’re awesome.


And thank you, the corporations that spy on American citizens for the United States National Security Agency (NSA) including: AT&T, Verizon, Centurylink, Hewlett-Packard, Intel, IBM, Microsoft and so many more. Not only do we get great products and services at a full price, but we also get to have our Fourth Amendment rights violated at the same time. What a deal. Thank you.

Also, another huge “thank you” goes out to the Transportation Security Agency (TSA). Thank you, blue smurfs, for fondling little children in airport lines while feigning political correctness so you will never falsely profile any potential Islamic extremists. Great job.

Thank you Federal Reserve for reducing the value of the American dollar to a mere fraction of its original value since your creation in 1913. Excellent work. And what is totally amazing today is how you can so easily make money out of thin air without fear of ever being audited. You’re fantastic. Truly.

Thanks to Ford Motor Company for conceding to president elect Donald Trump by choosing not to move jobs to Mexico at the last minute. I haven’t seen such fear and trembling since the Iranians released the hostages on January 20, 1981 immediately after President Ronald Reagan’s inaugural address.

I would also like to personally thank all the turncoat RINO (i.e. Republicans in Name Only) who not only lacked the balls, vision and desire to stand up to the tyranny of Globalism, but who were at the same time, so brave to stab their presidential candidate in the back during the 2016 election. Nice work.

There are so many others to thank during this season of gratitude. Time or space does not permit. Who am I forgetting?

In any event, I guess I just wanted to thank all of those mentioned above who have worked so hard to reduce the liberty of the American people as well as the future prospects and prosperity for our children. Thank you so much.


We definitely have come a long way from when the pilgrims first stepped off the Mayflower for the “Glory of God and the advancement of the Christian faith.” Just 395 years ago, the first Thanksgiving celebration took place. I wonder if Governor William Bradford’s campaign manager at that time had any interest in Spirit Cooking? Probably not. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Finally, in closing, and most importantly: I would like to thank my fellow Americans who peacefully rejected Hillary Clinton at the polls this year and thus allowed Donald Trump, at the very least, an opportunity to make America great again. Thank you.

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