The Oldest Story in the World

The Oldest Story in the World

April 8, 2019

by Doug “Uncola” Lynn:

There was a woman who once shone.  In her glory, she was the envy of men the world over. During the spring of her life she lived free; even carefree. But soon, the men who lusted after her great wealth and beauty took her, leaving her defiled.

Although dishonored, the woman retained a spark within. Yet she couldn’t find her way back alone. She needed someone. Someone who remembered her former glory and how she was; someone who loved her and wanted to see her made great once more.

As if designated by destiny, her prayers were soon answered as a brilliant man marched toward glory.  During the cold and dark of a winter’s night, he rose, shining, to usher in a new spring and the people dreamed again. His words were fierce and with eyes ablaze, he spoke truth to the men who had raped the woman. This man, with golden hair and the certainty of a billionaire, declared a war of words with the devils who met him at every turn.

In the height of summer, the man endured the heat; scorched as if from a thousand blazing suns.  And the light from those suns revealed all about the man to those who remained hidden in shadows. But, alas, there was nothing to see; no defect from which the man would crack.   He was pure and even more so just then, having been refined by the fire.

Renewed, as on the wings of eagles, surely, the man would seek revenge upon those who had their way with the woman.  After all, she was the object of his affection, and the one he adored. Moreover, she was the one for whom he would restore to her former greatness.

So the woman raised her head, with eyes now bright; glad, if only in that moment.  She smiled. Justice, like righteous rain, would soon fall upon the heads of her despoilers, those who left her naked and respected neither her personal boundaries nor sense of propriety.

Together, she and the man cherished the castle. For it was their home and the only true affirmation of greatness either had ever known.  Even as they suffered setbacks and defeats, at least they had their castle, the surrounding lands, and the support of half the kingdom’s people.

Through the end of summer and into the fall, the woman watched the man labor incessantly.  She knew he governed the best he was able and on her behalf.  She relished all of his promises and waited for each to come true.

She waited.

Until, one day, there was knocking on the large wooden doors at the front of the castle.  The woman heard the man summoned to the great hall where so many heads of state had been met before.  From the next room the woman heard the man who rescued her, whispering with the other men who had just recently arrived.

As the woman entered into the great hall, she was stunned to see the man, the one who had promised to restore her to greatness, calmly conversing with the men who had violated her before.  The man said:  “My dear, it’s time for you to know the truth.  These men possess the deed to this castle as well as to all of the surrounding lands.”  He added:  “And it’s been theirs for some time.”

The woman, in shock, fell to the cold stone floor, nauseated.  In a trembling voice, she said:  “But the people… the people won’t stand for this.  When word gets out, they will have your heads by morning”.

The men laughed.

7 thoughts on “The Oldest Story in the World

    1. Not to be glib, but these sentences, “These men possess the deed to this castle as well as to all of the surrounding lands.” He added: “And it’s been theirs for some time.” Reminds me of when I found out about property taxes as a young man and realized that you never actually own your property. Ever. You just rent it from the government.


  1. At first, this seemed like another tribute to Trump the Great. It was a pleasure to see how it matched what we’ve been seeing since the coronation. Good work, Doug.


  2. The allegory aptly depicts the current scenario in Pakistan. The much awaited and anticipated regin of PTI in the country and the personal life of the chairperson of the party are poignantly depicted in the story. It’s my point of view and others have the right to contradict or reject.


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